Mothers Day - It doesn't get any better

**

I planned a simple day with my girls. Movies and lunch with a friend and her daughter. Dave is out of town so I didn't expect anythng special, but Rachel and Alex had different plans.

7 a.m. Knock, knock softly at my door.

"Mommy," Rachel says in her sweet little voice. When she says I'm waking up, she giggles and squeals, "Close your eyes!"

"Close your eyes, Mommy," Alex echoes.

"Ok. Ok!"

"Are they closed?" in unison.

"Yes"

A moment passes, and then whispers and giggles.

"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!"

And I opened my eyes to find the two cutest girls ever carrying in my breakfast. "It's for you!! It's BREAKFAST IN BED!!" Alex is beaming!!

"Your life long dream!!" Rachel chirps.

Bringing mommy Mother's Day Bed the girls are soooo happy. It's a priceles moment.

OH MY GOD - They ae sooo adorable and they did ths all for me. All on their own - together. I could have burst with happiness, love and pride. These are two great kids!

On the tray was a plate with one of Daddy's famous pancakes (heated in the microwave) a chunk of peanut brittle, three gummy fish a huge tumbler cup full of orange juice, handmade cards and notes, and Rachel even drew a portrait of me.

After I complied with their requests to "EAT! Mommy! EAT!" and answered over and over that, yes, I do like it, the negotations began.

"Mommy, we brought you three gummies and there are three of us. And we brought one in your favorite colors - red. Can WE have the other two?" So - we all ate the gummies together...,

"Mommy, that's a lot of peanut brittle. Can we have some of that too?!?"

Ah - Mother's Day!!

**

It's all about perspective

**

"Rachel, hon, your shorts are on backwards."

Hmmm. Rachel looks down. Perplexed for a moment.

She quickly spins around backward, grins over her shoulder and says, "Now they're not!"

**

Interested in a Midnight Show...?

**

A sweet little chirp...,

"Mommy? Can I get up now?"

"Wha??"

"Can I get up now?"

I roll over, feeling amazingly tired. Morning already? Looking at the clock I see it's 44 minutes after the hour. Hmmph. One minute early - I guess I can give it to them.

"Okay sweetie, let's go." I put my head into their bedroom and call, "Alex, do you want to come watch TV with Rachel?"

"No, I'll wait till I get up."

That's odd, I think. But, okay. And I stumble down the hall with Rachel, soooo tired, turn on the TV and turn around to find that Alex has changed her mind about watching TV. She sits down with Rachel, as I stumble back to bed hoping to hit the snooze button for 10 more minutes of blissful sleep before facing the day.

Looking at the digital alarm clock, I see that it reads 1:47. Weird. It should read 5:47.

Still groggy, I guess the power must have gone out last night. I turn to the other night stand and it reads the same time. Weird.

Still not cluing in, I reason that of course both clocks would be wrong if the power had gone out.

UH? Wait.

And then, as the fog slowly lifts, I figure it out.

If the power had gone out the clocks would be flashing 12:00 and this second clock is one of those atomic clocks that set's itself. Wait.

And it hits me! It's actually 1:47 IN THE MORNING!! WHAT??

Out again to the living room to round up the girls. Who, because just three minutes ago mommy said they could watch television, are now upset and fussing (never pleasant - but horrendous at 1:47 a.m.).

Back to bed I lead them as I explain that the middle of the night is not time to get up, not TV time, and that mommy was very confused and STILL ASLEEP. It's not nice to confuse mommy.

And back to my pillow, laughing at myself all the while. Ahhhh -- and I have hours of peaceful sleep before my alarm goes off, as scheduled, at 5:45 a.m.

**

Pay Attention

**

Alex: "OK, Rachel. When we get home, I'll feed Tink and you give her water."

Rachel: "NO! I'll give her water and YOU feed her!"

Alex: "MMOOOMMM!! I said I wanted to feed her!

Dad, very calmly: "Girls. If you're going to argue, at least pay attention."

I almost had to pull the car over I was laughing so hard.

**

Let's try again...,

**
OK - Ziggy didn't quite work out. I'll skip the stories of the digging under the fence, chewing on everything and anything, bolting out anytime the front door was open, and peeing on the dining room table, and just say that after six months and several individual visits with a professional trainer, Ziggy was returned to Helen Woodward's Animal Shelter.

As hard as we tried, there wasn't anything we could do for Little Ziggy, and now we simply refer to him as "That damn little dog" each time we find yet another thing that he destroyed around the house.

Today, we brought home another little addition to the family. Smaller than Ziggy, easier to contain and less likely to create as much havoc on the household.

Meet "Tink."


She is a one-year old Cavie (Guinea Pig) from a local rescue. She is as sweet as can be and the girls love her.



Now if we can just keep Ollie from viewing our newest family member as a snack, this will work out great...,

**

Tidbits o' Kidlets

**
hmmm. I hear singing...

"Yeah, ye-ah!
I'm a goo-ood girl and I lo-ove my-I job!
Yeah, ye-ah"

(music and lyrics by Alex Hart while going potty)

**

We're laughing out loud after suddenly realizing the irony of allowing our kids to consume fried fish, a corn dog and french fries for dinner - while simultaneously freaking out about Rachel opening a packet of artificial sugar as a side dish.

(an example of awesome parenting if ever there was one)

**

Blink, blurry-eyed blink - as my body was bolted awake with the sound of our three year-old shrieking in our bedroom doorway at 4:00 a.m. My mind was a little slower. I launched out of bed before I was fully awake, scooped her up and carried her back to bed. Still no idea of what was wrong.

Dave, apparently more awake than I was, translated the screeching, "She's had a bad dream. She thinks Alex disappeared down the toilet."

Ah. OK. "Sweetie, it's OK. Alex is fine. She's asleep in her bed." (Amazingly this was true - that girl can sleep through ANYTHING!)

"NO! She's gone. She went down the toilet," Ray-ray whimpered.

"Honey. No. I promise. She's OK. She's asleep in her bed."

"We need a new sister."

And, problem solved, Rachel quickly dosed off to sleep - with no memory of the entire incident. Dave, true to his laid back style, was also sound asleep again.

Meanwhile, blink, blink. I stared at the ceiling, still a bit jolted w/ no sign of sleep in my near future.

**

Just in Time

**
A long, productive day at the office and I thought I would be working late. But no and I got home just in time...

Just in time to make a raisin hat.
(yep, there are raisins in that hat!)


Just in time to make a kite - from scratch.


Just in time to find a fist full of feathers.


Just in time for fun in the tub and fresh warm towels.


Just in time for story time with Daddy.


And just in time to cuddle with my babies.


Today I found my balance - just in time.

**

Life is good with two little girls to love.

**

To Catch a Lepechraun

**
The Hart clan is on its first annual Leprechaun Hunt.

Hmmm. What is a Leprechaun Hunt? And why would anyone want to hunt Leprechauns?

Well, first. A Leprechaun Hunt is just what it sounds like - we're trying to catch ourselves a Leprechaun. St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow and EVERYONE knows that March 17 is the best day to catch a Leprechaun.

And why? Because if you catch a Leprechaun he (yep. They're all boys - very strange. I've never heard of a girl Leprechaun. Nope. All male, and pretty sourly ones at that). Anyway, if you catch a Leprechaun, he has to grant you a wish! ANY wish! You see how your biggest wish is totally worth the hunt!? He can keep the gold - we'll take the wishes!

So, we looked all around the house and all around the yard, both front and back and we didn't see any signs of Leprechauns. We've 'heard stories' that most Leprechauns only come out at night after everyone's gone to bed - sooo...

We worked really hard...,

Rachel cut and colored four leaf clovers

Alex and I picked out special St. Patty's day stickers

Alex and Rachel designed the trap with special Leprechaun bait...,

Gold coins to appeal to Leprechaun greed
Green leaves because green is their favorite color
An old shoe, Leprechauns are rumored to be cobblers
And beer because, well, they are Irish!

Daddy set the trap and we were all set

All that hard work, a few green and gold ribbons, one big gold bow, and we had built the BEST little Leprechaun trap ever! Sure to catch even the craftiest little man.

The girls had a great time with this. Almost better than leaving Christmas cookies for Santa!

**

Bubbles, Bubbles - Magic Bubbles

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**

Parenting Tip 101

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One three year old + macaroni and cheese + juice + one BIG helping of popcorn = vomit.

**

And this after a long, stressful day at work and the realization that our home, with our two girls in my arms, is my own personal sanctuary.

The three of us sat on the couch watching a special showing of Jungle Book (a little treat while Daddy's out of town), as I watched Ray's face lit only by the light of the television in our darkened living room. The light bounced off her face and blond hair, and she seemed to almost glow. The funny little changes in her expression as she munched on popcorn and watched the movie were priceless.

Alex was on the other side of me snuggling so close I thought she might be trying to get back into the womb.

I breathed in their individual scents from the tops of their soft little heads. It was so serene. Home, safe and warm and loved by two people who will always love me - no matter what.

"Ahhh," heavy sigh. It was one of those 'this mom stuff is pretty great' moments.

and then....

vomit. All over my sanctuary.

Yep. Just another day in the life...

**

Workin' it

**

If you've ever doubted whether little ones can really 'work it,' take a look at the following sequence of photos. These were all shot within about a 90 second time frame.




Oh, yes! Little Rachel is a Master.

**

Forgotten Lil' Ray

**

No Mommy of the year awards here.

We got the whole pre-school valentines day thing wrong for our girls. Alex had a V-day party lunch, which we assumed was for the whole school. So, poor little Ray - when all her little classmates had heart-shaped cookies and sandwiches - showed up on this very special day with nada! A+ parenting there!!

Well - we can only be perfect parent part of the time. The rest? Well, that's what therapy is for!

**

Music Lessons

**

"Alex, What musical instrument would you like to play?"

"The harmonica."

"No, silly. Like the guitar or the piano or the flute."

"The harmonica."

"Hon. I don't even know where you would take harmonica lessons."

"From the harmonica store."

Ahh - yes. The Harmonica Store.

**

Ollie's World

**

Yeah, I'm the 'guard dog.' It's a bit boring (especially the night shift), but someone has to do it and, actually, it's a pretty cool job.

They're cutest when they're sleeping

I know. This little one pokes me in the eyes sometimes, pulls my ears, tries to ride me like I'm a pony or make me dance, but look how cute she is. Plus, she sneaks me all kinds of tasty stuff from the table when Mom and Dad aren't looking. I'm not going to let anything happen to this little meal ticket!

Opps, I've said too much. Good night, I've got to get back to my work.

**

Did I mention, She's a genius?

**

OK - I do my best to keep the gushing mom-bit to a minimum, but sometimes it's just got to get out.

Teacher parent conferences (hysterical concept for preschoolers) were last night and both girls received extremely positive 'reports.' Especially Rachel, who, as you've heard, is in LOVE with her teacher.

But, did I also mention that she's a G*E*N*I*U*S? Oh yes - she is. And this has nothing to do with the conferences.

While coloring with Ray tonight, I drew a little teddy bear cartoon, wrote Teddy Bear across the top of the paper, and then I left the room to answer the phone. This is what she did while I was out of the room...


Oh yes - that's 3-year old genius! Proof positive.

And, quite possibly our worst fears realized? Dave's brains and my personality.

T*R*O*U*B*L*E

**

More Tidbits O' Kidlets

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"Mom?"

"hmm?"

"I can't think of who I'm going to marry."

As I turned to Dave, staring at him in disbelief, she added, "Can I marry another girl?"

OK - the 1st part of that sentence was far more troubling than the latter.

"Let's not start thinking about grown-up things yet! You're four!! Change. Subject. Need. New. Subject... Where is your bunny?!?!" is what was inside my head. But what I said was, "Yes. You can marry another girl, but you don't have to decide any of that just yet."

And, hopefully, when the time comes, if Alex or Rachel choose that path, the issue of girls marrying girls will no longer be an issue.

**

"Momma?"

"What, hon?"

"The elves did good."

"What?"

"The elves did good. They made me a good camera."

"Yes they did - the elves made you a very nice camera for Christmas."

"How did they do that? How can they make a camera?"

"The same way they..."

"Outsourcing."

Globalization at work - per DH.

**

Rain in Southern California

**
In spite of all the rumors, it actually does rain in Southern California. And, when it does, the locals lose their collective minds! Everything from multiple car accidents to huddling indoors to complaining about our terrible, soggy suffering.

All in all -- we're wusses.

But who are the one's hit with a gutteral, panic-attack inducing, nauseating fear? Who is up all night, sweating and pacing the floors?

Southern California parents facing the prospect of two days trapped indoors with preschoolers, that's who.

"What the hell are we going to do INDOORS for 2 DAYS - IN A ROW? How can we entertain (at best), keep from strangling (at worst), our kids??"

The first resource - DVDs. But after a couple hours - the kids are getting bored and it's time to pull out the rainy day bag o' tricks - or call a friend to beg, borrow or steal their bag.

We avoided melt downs with some a-typical fun, crafts and activities:

$3.50 = Tons of super simple bath time fun.

With a little bubble bath and a package of food coloring, Rachel can have almost an hour of hysterical, experimental fun!!

While Rachel and I were playing with colors in the bath tub,
Daddy and Alex took the pups for a walk in the rain.

And then a little girly-girl time w/ Mommy.

And a quick, very, extra-special trip for a little of America's favorite indulgence.
The girls got cocoa and Mommy and Daddy had lattes.

A few errands and nap time, followed by craft time;
Homemade beads.
Daddy helped and the girls had a ball.

Dinner & baths and end of Day 1

Day 2 started with a walk and a search for rainy-day, slimy, slithery creatures.

My girls will pick up ANYTHING!

Some special friends spent the rest
of the rainy morning with us.

After nap - craft time again and we
painted our homemade beads.

Followed by...

We were all happily wiped out after a long, and busy weekend.
No melt downs, no throttling -- it was all good.

And the sun will come out tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow...

**

Ziggy - The Newest Hart

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We've added a little extra crazy to Casa de Looney Toons with the addition of Ziggy, a 2-year old playmate for 9-year old Ollie.

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The Governator & The Virus

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Good rule of thumb for a media relations professional: Don't hurl on the Governor. Thankfully, I have yet to break that rule. But on Thursday, December 20, I came awfully close.

On Wednesday evening, at just about dinner time, the call came in from the Governor's office inquiring about holding a press conference at the local Kaiser Hospital to promote his health care reform bill. So, after ridiculously in-depth consideration (like we were ever really going to decline), the wheels were set in motion and preparations began.

The prep was CRAZY, involving multiple departments doing everything from spraying down the driveway and sprucing up the garden to painting stairwells and hanging new signage.

As the hospital kicked into high gear so did the flu virus that had taken refuge in my body. And, just as old Arnold was about to arrive, my stomach started churning and doing some crazy little flips. I knew I was in trouble. I had the horrible vision of the news headlines, "Local PR Woman Pukes on the Governator!"

Not good.

That thought alone kept my stomach settled just enough to get through this...


and a celebratory beer and nachos with the team for a job well done, but not quite enough to get me all the way home. Bye-Bye nachos!!

The next day we mailed our Christmas cards, sans our holiday letter.

**

Oh - yes and BTW:

• Health care reform - good thing.
• Puking - bad thing.

Just in case you weren't clear.

**

It's Not Nice to Hurl on the Governor...

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Are you here looking for our Christmas letter?

Yeah? Well, there has been a short delay, which we're blaming on the Govenator and a stomach virus.

More later...

**