Craziness Reigns!!

As I pull up to Marshall Elementary for my weekly volunteer position I find a closed gate.

"That's weird," I say out loud.

I honk at two women that I see walking across campus. They turn to look at me, wave and keep going. Not in any apparent rush - but too far away to clarify anything. So I get out of my car, pull back the gate and drive onto campus. The next gate, into the parking lot is also pulled shut. I get out, again, and pull open the gate. At this point, no one is in sight and I pull into the parking lot.

As I open the door to my car a woman comes running at us, shrieking, "THIS IS A LOCK-DOWN. YOU CAN'T BE IN HERE. YOU CAN'T DRIVE THROUGH THE GATE. THIS IS A LOCK-DOWN, GET INTO A CLASS ROOM - NOW. THIS IS A LOCK-DOWN. GET INTO A CLASS ROOM NOW!! HURRY! THIS IS SERIOUS - YOU CAN'T BE HERE. THIS IS A LOCK-DOWN. GET INTO A CLASS ROOM NOW!! HURRY! THIS IS SERIOUS - YOU CAN'T BE HERE."

My pulse began to race as I imagined a crazed, teenage gunman or two loose on the campus and coming fast in our direction. I rushed to get the girls out of the car. They were now panicking as the woman kept shrieking, "THIS IS A LOCK-DOWN. GET INTO A CLASS ROOM NOW!! HURRY!"

The commotion outside caused three teachers to open their doors (a grave error during a lockdown, apparently) to offer assistance to a mom wrestling to get her kids to safety.

"SHUT THE DOORS!!" This crazy woman shrieked. "THIS IS A LOCK-DOWN. GET BACK INTO THOSE CLASSROOMS!!" She then turned back to me and resumed, "THIS IS A LOCK-DOWN. GET INTO A CLASS ROOM NOW!! HURRY! THIS IS SERIOUS - YOU CAN'T BE HERE. THIS IS A LOCK-DOWN. GET INTO A CLASS ROOM NOW!! HURRY! THIS IS SERIOUS - YOU CAN'T BE HERE."

Finally - after she had succeeded in initiating panic in all of us, I responded with, "LADY! SHUT-UP!! I HAVE TWO KIDS HERE AND I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN SO BAAACK OOOFFF!!"

She then seemed to realize that she was a bit out of control and came to offer a little help - but by then I had my two girls in my arms and was running across the parking lot toward the preschool room as I imagined gun-toting crazies closing in.

Once I got into the room everyone was shaking - including the people already there. She had freaked everyone out with all of her incessant yelling. But the ladies in the room knew something that I didn't. The lock-down was not to protect us all from some crazy loons but from a stray family of coyotes that had been spotted on campus. Animal control was on their way to trap the animals and all would be well soon.


Apparently the only loon on campus was the screeching woman instilling needless panic. Where is the Department of People Control??