Thursday, February 28

Heavy Subjects at 6:00 a.m.


"Mommy?" Rachel whispers as she snuggles up against me for our morning cuddles.


"When can we get married?"

"Who do you want to marry?"

Blink. Blink. Thinking for a moment.

"Everyone!" Short pause, "MISS MELISSA!"

Ah, yes, the beloved preschool teacher. A little flash of green passes over my eyes.

"Mamma?" Alex pops up from the other side of me.


"The girls at my school say that you can't marry a girl if you're already a girl."

Hmm. This is a heavy subject for 6 a.m.

"Well, they're wrong honey."

Pause, as she looks up at the ceiling thinking this over.

"But they said you can't. You can't marry a girl if you're already a girl"

"Well they're wrong honey. Think about Aunt Nadine and Aunt Chris. They're 'married' and they're both girls.(1)"

Another pause, as she looks up at the ceiling again.

And then she looks back at me with an odd expression and says, "Can I have a picture of them?"

"Sure. Why?"

"Because I want to take it to school to show them," she says with all the innocence of a five year old who has no idea of the can of worms she's holding in her unsteady little hands.

Crap. Deep stuff for 6 a.m.

I shake my head trying to clear the cobwebs and begin back peddling. Hmm. "Alex, we'll need to check with Aunt Nadine and Aunt Chris."

"Why? Is it their picture? Do they own it? Don't we have one?"

In my head, I'm envisioning the parents who don't share our views coming un-clued. At worst, calling the school and demanding which child is the source of Satan's message. (A frightening, but very real possibility.) At best, raised eyebrows while discouraging their kids from playing with "the poor misguided little girl from that weird family,(2)" causing Alex to be ostracized for something she can't possibly understand. Something she isn't able to form her own thoughts and opinions about.

As much as we're committed to teaching our kids the values and morals we believe in, I also realize that the battles I chose to fight and stands that I chose to take are not theirs. They'll find their own, in time. But for now, some things (most things) are too big to put them in the middle of.

We don't believe in teaching hate. We believe in teaching tolerance and respect for others. In part, it's respect and tolerance that leads to an understanding that questions about same sex marriage—regardless of our own views—is a topic that every parent has the right and responsibility to address with their own children.

I just hope more of them will address that topic from a place of tolerance and respect. There really is enough hate and fear in the world. Please. Let's not intentionally spread it to the next generation.

(1) Alex is just five and we're teaching her (and Rachel) concepts not legalities and semantics.

(2) OK, so some of the parents may ask this question anyway for other, unrelated reasons. If you’ve been reading the blog or know us personally, you understand.


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