Sometimes Being Mom is Tough

It's tough when a childless friend says, "Do you ever just pull the car over and....?"
It's tough when a relative says, "When you're not around children very often you forget how much patience it takes."

I took both statements as....

"Are you saying my kids are out of control?"
"Are you saying I'm not a good mom?"
"Are you saying I have 'bad' kids?"
"What ARE you saying? Because I don't like what I'm hearing"

It's tough being a mom and being surrounded by family and so many friends who don't have any children. People who can't relate or try to understand. People that bring inexperience, unrealistic expectations, and unsolicited opinions.

It's tough when your parents who, after my little one fusses at the table, plays with her food and needs a quick time out (all developmentally appropriate for a 2 year-old who is minutes away from nap time) comment about how great THEIR kids were. How they "never had to be told twice" and "never really cried that much" or "never did this or the next thing." (When did we all grew out of being perfect little angles?)

Again ....,
"Are you saying my kids are out of control?"
"Are you saying I'm not a good mom?"
"Are you saying I have 'bad' kids?"
"What ARE you saying? Because I don't like what I'm hearing"

It's tough not reaching over and whacking them in head for being so stupid!!

Hey, BONEHEADS! I'm in the trenches - NOW, not 40 years ago (read blurred/romanticized memory). I'm around kids and parents every day. I've seen the good, the bad and the ugly - in both parents and kids.

My kids are doing just fine - thank you. They are well behaved (as far as 'well-behaved' goes for a 2 & 3 year old) but not so seemingly well-behaved that I've crushed their spirit or scared them straight. No - my kids are OK. They're independent, curious, autonomous, loving little sentient beings. I love them for all of it - the good, the bad and the ugly. And as their mom, I can tell you there is much more 'good' than anything else.

Here's a tip. Think before you speak and every now and again maybe offer a compliment and/or realize that (given that you're not a parent or haven't parented a toddler in some 40+ years) maybe you're not an expert with all the answers. And maybe, just maybe, I know what I'm doing and I'm doing a pretty good job.

Pat yourself on the back while you're at it. One of the prefect kids that you raised has grown up and is now raising two pretty great kids of her own.