'They' say it happens to most every parent. It's why people continue having kids. It's why no one really tells you the truth about those first few weeks or months. It's the mind-meld caused by all the good memories created since, and the heart exploding love that colors every decision of your life.
Looking through baby pics and thinking, "Ahhh, what a sweet time. We were first time parents with our brand new baby. Look how adorable she is," or "Look how happy we are - you can just see it and she is soo beautiful."
And that's when I realized it. I had the 'Ah-Ha!' moment.
Yes, this is it. The moment that you begin to forget the reality of it all and it turns to nostalgic longing for a romanticized version of the truth: The long, heart wrenching fertility battle, the early term bleeding and accompanying gut wrenching fear, labor and giving birth (though for me - this was the easy part), the barracuda breast feeder, the longer then usual recovery, the raw loneliness of being away from family and friends, the postpartum depression ... Never happened - none of it. It's all fading away to become just the beauty of my baby and the miracle that she ever came to be.
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3 comments:
And then you go, "Aww, I miss having a baby, so sweet... let's have another!"
I'm starting to have that problem. ;-)
Great post.
I alwas forget the sleeplessness. Intellectually, I know it happens, but my memory has largely deleted it from storage.
ok, that made me cry. or could it just my raging hormones??? i'll have to re-read this when i'm suffering from sore nipples and complete sleep deprivation next summer :-)
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