Oh to be six again

**

While we were in China, Alex lost her second tooth. Unlike the first, this time around, however, the tooth fairy was none too excited about it.

Alex waited for us to get home from China. She wanted to show us the tooth before giving it up to the tooth fairy. Soooo excited - she showed us the tooth and told us at least three times all about how she twisted it, and twisted it until it came out in her hands. "There wasn't hardly even any blood."

With great ceremony, we helped Alex put the tooth in the special little box, and then put the special little box into the special little pillow, which was then placed carefully under her pillow. And then we promptly forgot all about it, until the next morning when a dejected little Alex stood beside my bed with the special little pillow, which held the special little box, which held the lost tooth.

And the next night, with great ceremony, we helped Alex put the tooth in the special little box, and then put the special little box into the special little pillow, which was then placed carefully under her pillow. And then we promptly forgot all about it, until the next morning when a dejected little Alex stood beside my bed with the special little pillow, which held the special little box, which held the lost tooth.

Oh - we're bad. Soooo many repeated excuses, reasons and rationalizations about the poor overworked/unionized Tooth Fairy.

On the third night, that lazy little twit finally showed up and took the tooth away, leaving behind two shiny gold $1 coins. And, to her credit, Alex was just as excited as she would have been on the very first night.

She woke us up the next morning with an excited, ear-to-ear grin, "Mommy! Mommy! She was here! It fell on the ground again. And listen - Money!!"

Oh, to be six again.
**

Abandoned...,

**

It's been a long time since it happened. I just kept denying it, trying to fix it, mend it. But choices have been made, sides have been chosen and I can't fix it alone. It's over now and my heart hurts for it. And that's all there is - a wounded heart that needs time to heal. It may take a life time.

**

Out of the mouths of babes...,

**

R comes into cuddle with me 1st thing in the day.

"Mommy??"

"yeah?"

"Your face smells bad."

"what?"

"Your face smells bad."

And my child discovers morning breath.

**

R: Mommy, do you know what download means?

It means you haven't loaded up yet.

**

At the core of me

**

At the core of me...,

I'll never be OK without my mommy.

Knowing that - there is so, so much that I vow to give to (or be for) my children.

**

What was I thinking??

**

Oh my God - I'm going to China.

What the hell was I thinking six months ago when Dave told me about the trip and I jumped on it? No questions asked.

Now, just two days away, following a week of earth quakes and civil unrest in China, the prospect of leaving my two girls for two weeks of the unknown is far more daunting.

**

My Little Girls

**
Gotta hold on easy as I let you go.
Gonna tell you how much I love you,
though you think you already know.
I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft and warm.
You've had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born.

Your beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl.

When you were in trouble that crooked little smile could melt my heart of stone.
Now look at you, I've turned around and you've almost grown.
Sometimes you're asleep I whisper "I Love You!" in the moonlight at your door.
As I walk away, I hear you say, "Love You More!"

Your beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl.

Someday, some boy will come and ask for your hand.
But I won't say "yes" to him unless I know, he's the half
that makes you whole, he has a poet's soul, and the heart of a man's man.
I know he'll say that he's in love.
But between you and me. He won't be good enough!

Your beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl.
**

Back to our Own Private World

**

Finally changed the format of the blog to include only invited friends and family. With all of my postings on FaceBook and Twitter - I thought it would be nice to have a private venue for the Hart family's personal minutia.

Back to reality.

**

Life Lessons

**

"MOOOMMMMA! That's not fair!"

"What, Rachel?"

"Alex got a lollipop and I didn't"

"Well. I'm sorry honey. Life is necessarily inequitable."

Blink, blink.

"hmmph"

And that was it.

**

Quote for the Day

**

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."
~ Adlai E. Stevenson ~

**

And they say kids are resilient

**
With each divorce or separation, adults seem to console themselves with the assertion that "kids are resilient." And, while that may or may not be true, I ask, "Should they have to be?" and "Do they really have a choice?"

This song is by Everclear and the lyrics make me cry:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hey, ain't life wonderful? wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... isn't it wonderful
Now?

I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope its over when I open them

I want the things that I had before
Like a star wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again

Hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry

Close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the worlds so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that its all okay
I laugh aloud so my friends wont know
When the bell rings I just don't wanna go

Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I dont believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now

No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

I don't wanna hear you say
That I will understand someday
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna hear you say
You both have grown in a different way
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna meet your friends
And I don't wanna start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...

I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

~everclear~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**