A few vacation snippets....,,

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Day 1: Attack of the yellow jackets.
Alex discovered a nest of yellow jackets. Or they discovered her – not sure which. But they were NOT happy. She was stung twice and I came running when she started SCREAMING! She had no idea what it was but she was in pain and wanted it to stop. When I got to her Dave was pulling one off of her shoulder. She had taken a sting in the arm and one in the head before I rushed her into the house (Calling over my shoulder, “Could someone grab my coffee?” OK – clearly I wasn’t panicked.)

Once inside – I began rinsing her with cold water and, as I went to get ice discovered one of those nasty little bugs had found its way up my floor-length skirt and I took a sting to the upper thigh. While I was hopping up and down, shaking my skirt trying to free the little bastard, Dave also got stung.

CRAP! These little buggers were pissed and were letting us know it. Grandma got two stings too – thus sealing the fate of the yellow jackets.

That night Dave and Doreen poured gasoline down the hole containing the nest and that was the end of the yellow jackets! That’ll teach them to attack UP the evolutionary chain!

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After one day with all five little girls and the in-laws, Dave and I escape. We arrive at the lake house ready for two days of secluded bliss before the rest of the gang joins us.

Ahhhh. Relaxation.

……, hmmmm.

Still relaxing.

Now realizing that I’m not actually all that good at relaxing. Seems like I should be doing something ….

“Ah. Dave…?”

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Saturday morning – a night to ourselves and a morning w/out little ones crawling into our bed (something I LOVE BTW) and the ability to sleep VERY late and lie in bed snuggling and daydreaming.

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After a day of exploring the local waterfalls, Dave and I called the girls to say good night and Rachel said in the sweetest little voice ever, “I’m just going to go to bed without giving you a hug.” My heart melted.

Alex, having too much fun to be bothered, simply yelled “Good night” from the other room.

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And on day 4 we did the stereotypical small southern town thang. (Read w/ southern accent.) We went to the waffle house for waffles, grits, and bacon and then we hauled it over to the Walmart for some shopping.

Our waitress's name was actually 'Red.' She was classic. Chatty, extraordinarily nice, and VERY southern. She called us 'Hun' and 'Sweety' and Rachel and Alex "were just the cutest little things." Pure southern charm.

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Alex, exhausted from 6 days without enough sleep and memories of the yellow jacket attack, freaked out at ANY flying bug or speck of dust that flew within two feet of her. She was panicked and seemingly terrified beyond all logic. This child isn’t even afraid of injections! And now she was horrified by any little thing flying nearby.

After explaining reality, “Yes, bees sting. It’s not likely that you’ll get stung – you might, but not likely. You’re missing all the fun. I’m sure the bees won’t ‘bug’ you,” she didn’t see the humor nor was she at all comforted by my logic.

Nope. She was still hysterical. See for yourself….,


At this point, she was beyond consoling. I took her away from the beach area – as much to get her away from bugs as to stop myself from drowning her to stop the wailing.

I took her to the picnic table, covered her in t-shirts to ‘protect her,' and told her that I was off to talk with the Queen Bee to “work something out.” As I left she started SCREAMING again and didn’t want to be left alone.

Less than a minute later I returned and explained my ‘deal’ with the Queen Bee. “The Queen agreed to talk to her kids and tell them not to sting if Alex would stop screaming and scaring her kids. In exchange,” I explained to Alex, “I promised the Queen that we would leave a small bowl of sugar on the deck for her later that day as a thank you.”

Well, this was agreeable to Alex and off she went to have fun in the water with the rest of her cousins like nothing ever happened. Five hours later, however, as the girls were getting ready for bed, Alex reminded me about our deal with the Queen. We prepared a special bowl of sugar as promised and left it on the deck for a royal midnight snack.

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