Christmas 2009

**

This Christmas was stress free; warm, loving, not rushed, not worried about money, not pressed with family drama or underlying angst. Just what Christmas should be.

Last year I began setting the boundaries. I knew I would be hit with some resistance, and I've long since learned that I can't manage crazy. But this time my family (Cindy and my mom) topped themselves. After letting my mom know that, no it wasn't OK to come to our house early Christmas morning with Ace dressed as Santa, and no we wouldn't be serving them dinner - another day would be great - just not on Christmas morning - both my mom and Cindy started with the silent treatment. Because they didn't get what they wanted, when they wanted, regardless of our plans for our family, we we're extricated from the family. I didn't hear from my mom again until some time in late February. She blew off Christmas and Alex's birthday - as punishment. And I never spoke to Cindy. My mom "translated" the information to her and she hasn't spoken to me since. Didn't return the calls that I placed to her to talk about plans for Christmas - nope, she just stopped talking to me. Because - hey it was really all about the kids and if she can't do what she wants to do, when she wants to do it -then she'll never see or talk to the kids or her sister ever again. So that brings us back to "can't manage crazy."

So last Christmas was spent with angst and heartache, stress and drama. It took me most of that year to come the realization that Cindy is as toxic and emotionally dangerous as she is damaged.