Maybe it's the wine...,

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Tonight was our first family movie night. Rachel, Alex, Dave, Ollie and I all curled up in the living room with popcorn and drinks watching "Hotel for Dogs."

Alex and I sobbing. Those poor kids. All they had were each other. Each other and the dogs they found on the street. Together they made a family.

My heart strings were pulled on soooo many levels. Too many to enumerate here - and a little too clouded by the wine. But I wonder what brought Alex to tears. She's always been more empathetic than her years, but I wish I could crawl inside her head in these moments and feel and understand.

She's special. I'm just not sure I know the extent of how special she really is.

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Fun with Photoshop

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Oh yes, my new toy!!

The List

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My list seems to be getting longer, while my days seem to be getting shorter.

I've taken on a few too many obligations, said yes a few too many times, and now I'm in a pickle. My plate is too full and there's still more that I want to do.

Choice and priorities. My true life's purpose? My family.

That's not to say that I don't matter in the equation. As we already know - going down that road is lonely and unfulfilling path for me, which is ultimately bad for our family.

It's that quintessential thing called balance that I (and every other mom that I know) is looking for.

I have to wonder if this thing called "balance" is really attainable - or if what it's really about is changing expectations, patience and rearranging priorities.

Maybe it's not about balance, Maybe it's about realizing that while it maybe possible to have it all or do it all, it's not possible to have it all (or do it all) all at once.

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Looking back...,

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It's funny. When I look back at my high school years now, and connect or not,w/ people on fb. sometimes it just feels sad. like there was never really a true connection w/ anyone other than fudge.

The three people who I would have said were my three closest friends in HS -- gone.

Back in the saddle

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With the kids back in school, their other lessons and activities are getting back into full-swing too. And now that Rachel is five, both girls are taking riding lessons. Oh - and they are loving it...,

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Amending the record...,

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OK - remember "For the Record" ???

Well - let me set that record straight. A little kiss, a little wipe and it disappeared. Yep, it was nothin' but dirt.

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She needs a hole in her head....

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Rachel's surgery is becoming more real. No longer some nebulous thing that's going to happen some day - off in the future. No longer far enough off that I can leave it in the box, safely on the shelf with all the worries tucked nicely inside.

We've started selecting physicians and facilities, insurance carriers and plans, looking at photos, pouring through internet resources, and making decisions on which procedures and when.

It's the process that keeps me balanced. Going through the necessary steps and staying focused on the details keeps the worries at bay.

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Interested in learning more???

Understanding Unilateral Hearing loss:
http://www.boystownhospital.org/hearing/info/unilateral.asp
And the speech banana...,
http://edschool.csuhayward.edu/departments/ted/instruction/howe/5500/AAL-speechbanana.html

Blogs
http://www.kelleysearsurgery.blogspot.com/
http://www.milestrip.blogspot.com/
http://www.missionlittlebrother.blogspot.com/
http://belle-josh.blogspot.com/

Our doc;
http://www.americanhealthandbeauty.com/procedures/doctors.asp?doc=345
http://www.cedars-sinai.edu/14064.html?gclid=CMbwpOTy7JoCFQVxFQodW10QBQ

Learning the Rules

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For a person who isn't much of a rule follower, can someone tell me why I've become a leader of one of the most rule based organizations around?

Yep - I've become a Girl Scout leader. Not once - but twice. One for each of my girls. And, as always, I've learned it's really not about following the rules, so much as it is making the rules work for you. (Just to be clear, this isn't something I'll be teaching the Scouts. They'll figure it out during their teen years - maybe.)

Today we had 14 girls, 8 moms and 3 extra siblings here for a fabulous little initiation ceremony for the new Kindergarten troop. Alex's troop, the first grade Daisies, welcomed Rachel's Kindergarten troop into the the Girls Scouts. During the ceremony, each girl was presented with her new vest. Smiles, giggles and squeals all around. Good times.

After the Girl Scout meeting "officially" ended. We broke out the pizza. juice boxes and wine, and the Moms had just as good of time as the girls. Great group of women, raising a great group of girls.

Life if good.

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Monday Morning Ramblings

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The girls were both extra clingy this morning - snugly until the moment I nudged them off to class. Alex gave me the saddest little look and complained of her tummy hurting. It's so hard to tell. Is she really feeling bad? Is it just a longing for mommy? Is it gas?

As mommies, we just do our best and send them off to school or keep them home based on sometimes nothing more than a mother's hunch - and always wondering, "is this the right decision?" In the end - they survive, we survive and they know that we love them.

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Yesterday, Alex and Rachel and I went hiking up Twin Peaks with their little friends and Miss Betty, then came back to our house for lunch. It was great fun - then after nap and crafts, we headed out to check out pianos for Rachel, and then to dinner.

I am constantly amazed at how different my life experience was, and wonder if every generation feels the same. I'm so happy we're able to give them what we do, and that my hubby and I are almost always on the same page, enjoying life together with our girls. Our little family unit - there is no greater gift.

OK - I've got to run. These are just the ramblings of a mad woman on a Monday Morning.

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Saturation

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OK - I believe I've reached the saturation point. FaceBook seems to have lost some of it's luster for me. Still peaking every now and then - but it's shimmer has definitely faded.

Back to life and back to blogging.

It's nice to be home again...,

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