Out of the Mouths of Babes...,

On our way to the park and listening to the radio....,

"What are they talking about, Mommy?"
"Politics, honey."
"Mommy, politics is NOT nice!"
"Oh Alex. You are wise beyond your years!"

Sometimes Being Mom is Tough

It's tough when a childless friend says, "Do you ever just pull the car over and....?"
It's tough when a relative says, "When you're not around children very often you forget how much patience it takes."

I took both statements as....

"Are you saying my kids are out of control?"
"Are you saying I'm not a good mom?"
"Are you saying I have 'bad' kids?"
"What ARE you saying? Because I don't like what I'm hearing"

It's tough being a mom and being surrounded by family and so many friends who don't have any children. People who can't relate or try to understand. People that bring inexperience, unrealistic expectations, and unsolicited opinions.

It's tough when your parents who, after my little one fusses at the table, plays with her food and needs a quick time out (all developmentally appropriate for a 2 year-old who is minutes away from nap time) comment about how great THEIR kids were. How they "never had to be told twice" and "never really cried that much" or "never did this or the next thing." (When did we all grew out of being perfect little angles?)

Again ....,
"Are you saying my kids are out of control?"
"Are you saying I'm not a good mom?"
"Are you saying I have 'bad' kids?"
"What ARE you saying? Because I don't like what I'm hearing"

It's tough not reaching over and whacking them in head for being so stupid!!

Hey, BONEHEADS! I'm in the trenches - NOW, not 40 years ago (read blurred/romanticized memory). I'm around kids and parents every day. I've seen the good, the bad and the ugly - in both parents and kids.

My kids are doing just fine - thank you. They are well behaved (as far as 'well-behaved' goes for a 2 & 3 year old) but not so seemingly well-behaved that I've crushed their spirit or scared them straight. No - my kids are OK. They're independent, curious, autonomous, loving little sentient beings. I love them for all of it - the good, the bad and the ugly. And as their mom, I can tell you there is much more 'good' than anything else.

Here's a tip. Think before you speak and every now and again maybe offer a compliment and/or realize that (given that you're not a parent or haven't parented a toddler in some 40+ years) maybe you're not an expert with all the answers. And maybe, just maybe, I know what I'm doing and I'm doing a pretty good job.

Pat yourself on the back while you're at it. One of the prefect kids that you raised has grown up and is now raising two pretty great kids of her own.

Woman, Wife, Mother...,

Not necessarily in that order. Not any one dimension more important than another - but each the most important at any given time - the sum of the parts that make up me. And how lucky I am that I get to be all of these things separately & together.

The Sexiest Man...,

A massage offered to a weary wife, sore from a hard night of volleyball followed by a day at the Wild Animal Park with two energetic little girls, and tired from an annual flu shot earlier in the day. A massage - complete with candlelight and vanilla scented massage oil - rubbing away all the muscle pain and weariness.

Ahhhh. So nice and warm and loving.

And we made love - warm, tender, fantastic, orgasmic love.

He is sleeping now - peaceful and beautiful in the candlelight. He is truely the sexiest man alive! And I am the luckiest wife in the world.

Halloween is for kids

and this one was perfect. Alex and Rachel really understood the concept this year and were excited about dressing up and seeing all their friends dress up.

We decided that - instead of big birthday parties and all the associated issues we will host an annual Halloween Party. And this was the 1st Annual - it was great...., 17 kids, 24 adults, a bouncy, halloween bags to decorate, pumpkins to paint, games to play, face painting and a Pinata!

Cold and Flu Season...,

Sorry its taken me so long to get back to you. Our house is one big, swirling virus!! YUK!! We had ANOTHER cold run through here last week - not that it's actually left yet. Hubby came down with it last night. I hope it's done with us soon. We are worn out!!

I don't know what's going on this year - it feels like we've been about to get sick, sick, or recovering from being sick for the last 6 weeks! Usually we're a bit more resilient. Dave (that would be Hubby) is hoping that we're building our resistance to this year's bugs early and that we'll be healthy for the rest of cold and flu season. I hope he's right - because I am DONE with mucus and coughs and sad little faces, whimpering for a restful night's sleep.

I did it...,

... we did it.

Last night as I walked down the hall I heard something. It was unmistakable. I stopped to really listen and I could hear it. Feel it. A peaceful, loving quite washed over me. At that moment I was so aware of my own happiness - a sense of fullness and contentedness. A feeling that I think has been with me for a while now - but one that I rarely stop to feel, to appreciate or listen to.

My two incredible little girls were asleep in their beds, smiling, dreaming. My husband and dog were lazing on the couch watching T.V. Everyone in my house - at that moment - happy and content. I did it - we did it. Dave and I. Achieved the dream. The dream that I've had since I was just a little girl. I've always longed for a peaceful, happy and loving family. A safe and secure home free of drama and conflict. This was and is at the heart of what I've always longed for. Some people dream of great wealth and recognition and popularity. And while all that would be nice and I wouldn't turn it away, I don't think having all of that would make me happy without the very real foundation and emotional security of my home and family.

We may not have a great deal of money but I feel rich.

Snippets

In the car -- on the freeway, early one morning on our way to IRC preschool.

"Mommy."
"What is it Alex?"
"I don't see any police. Do you see any police?"
"No."
"That means we can go FAST!!"
(OH Lord. What am I teaching my children?)

********
At the dinner table.

"Mommy, close your eyes."
"OK, Alex. They're closed."
And she pokes me in the eye.
"OUCH! Alex what did you do that for? That hurt honey. You shouldn't poke people in the eye. It hurts."
"But I didn't poke you in the other eye!"

A Short Tribute

To my wonderful husband. He constantly amazes me with his ability to give what I need when I need it. Whether it’s a break from the kids or a simple hug he’s there to give it, freely and without expectation. He is the most amazing man. I must have done something pretty great in a former life for god to have given me this man to share my life with and raise my daughters with.

When I think of how unbelievably lucky and blessed my two little girls are to have such an involved and caring father it brings tears to my eyes.

He keeps me a float and helps me to be the best mom & woman that I can be.

Happy Birthday Dave!

The Budding Beautician

The girls are playing with the cat as I clean up from lunch. Or so I think. I go into the kitty's room (which we used to call Rachel's room but our foster cat has pretty much taken over) and start cleaning out the litter box when I hear Alex say, "Hey, Rachel. Want a haircut?" followed immediately by that horrible snipping sound.

"Noooooo. Alex STOP! Stop - come out from under there right now."

Silence. AT this point they know there's trouble and they're probably thinking that if they don't make a sound I won't be able to find them and will go look somewhere else.

"Alex. Come out right now and hand me those scissors!"

Silence.

I look under the crib and Alex says, sheepishly, "Rachel's in the way."

"Come out of there. Both of you." I say as I pull them out and find what appears to be a sizable clump of wispy blonde hair. Hmmm, not good. I quickly assess the damage. Doesn't look too bad. Rachel now has somewhat of a layered look going. Pretty sporty actually!

As I'm checking out Rachel's new 'do,' I give Alex the requisite lecture on the dangers of playing with scissors. "Yes, even little kid craft scissors." (Can you believe they make kid scissors that actually cut hair!?!)

So - that crises dealt with, I go back into the office for a quick IM session with Dave. While I'm telling him about the budding beautician in the family, in comes Alex to see what I'm doing. I turn to tell her I'll be done in a minute and to wait in the other room, when I get a look at her for the first time since pulling them from under the crib

"OH ALEX!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR!!??!!"

Both sides are chopped almost as far back as her ears in so many different layers and lengths that I'm stunned.
Where is the hair she cut off - it wasn't under the crib and I have the scissors. Ahhh, she did this BEFORE cutting her sister's hair. No wonder she didn't want to come out from under the crib. She didn't want me to see her head!!

Back in the kitty's room I find a big pile of beautiful brown and golden curls lying behind the rocker. :-( I guess we'll finally have to get her hair cut. & Rachel too.

Another rite of passage in the Hart house :-)